Ten with Tom

TWT: Pancake Monday (19)

2007-06-18T15:39:00.000+10:00

Sound quality ain't great, but there is live music.

Today's show included:

- Two and a half metric cups of milk
- Two cups of flour
- Two metric eggs
- A metric splash of Vanilla extract

(Makes approximately 7 large metric pancakes)

myspace.com/theexactoknives

The Show.

Night Lads.

T.

Maxell Ads

2007-06-16T14:26:00.000+10:00

So I was sitting by myself and I found myself a-drifting back to days of yore. From somewhere deep in my brain - the central sulcus of my left occipital lobe to be precise - filed under 'a' for amusing, I came across some footage. It was a couple of old TV commercials for "cassette tapes" (the kids might need to Google that one). The premise was: a man mistakenly misheard the lyrics of a song - to humourous effect. If only he had heard the original song on a Maxell cassette.
Well, I said to myself, Thomas, this is the digital age. No longer are such obscure and bizarre memories confined to the ol' grey-matter. What with the "Internet" and all, why, I bet I can locate a real-life copy of those very videos.
So I brewed myself a strong cup of the good stuff and summoned the Google forth. No less than five minutes later, I was re-living the merriment once more. And, such are the wondrous ways of the dubya-dubya-dubya, I am pleased to share the good times. Here, for the purposes of amusement and intimacy are the two pearls from the depths of my rememberings.

Night Kids,

T.

Funny-ness

2007-05-24T17:05:00.000+10:00

Things sure are funny these days, you know what I'm saying? Why, just the other day I was serving in a Public Bar when a skeleton came up to me and asked me the time. I told him is was half past five and he said that he was late for some appointment or other. The makings of a fine joke, but sadly life doesn't always imitate humour. And life rarely imitates those well scripted jokes you read between chapters in the Readers' Digest. At least my life doesn't imitate them. My life doesn't imitate anything really, except that extremely poor Sean Connery imitation that everyone can do.

Where am I going with this? That's not rhetorical. Or is it? No. I seriously don't know where I'm going with this. Just a sec, I'm going to my special place (myspace.com/easilyoffended)

...

Okay, I'm back. And I got myself together. Here are some videos that my friend Jonathan and I took for fun. They're amusing...but at the same time, they make you think. Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present, "The Trolley Series"...

A Study into Trolley Perspectives

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Another Study into Trolley Perspectives

Add to My Profile | More Videos

And that is the end of this blog-post (or 'blost' as the kids are saying).

A New Car

2007-03-29T12:23:00.000+10:00

So we bought a new car.

My wife and I thought we'd stroll down the dozen or so car-yards of Main Rd, Cardiff (NSW Australia) and have a bit of a squizz at what's on offer and for how much and in what colours.

Buyers beware! A car salesman roams aound like a lion. A sort of stealthy lion in sunglasses and a hat. Dressed almost perfectly (the socks give them away, you see).

As I recall, we had just finished strolling around the selection of late-model used cars, about to head home when we struck upon the idea of enquiring about a couple of the new Toyotas out the front. So we made for the showroom, partly to make our enquiry but mostly to get out of the heat. After that it gets a bit hazy. There was something about a lion in bad socks and the next thing I know we were signing some sort of contract. Somewhere along the line we were convinced far beyond a shadow of a doubt that the new Corolla was the only car for us. And so it remains.

I was once of the opinion that I would never buy a new car. Waste of money, I foolishly thought. But that was before our "encounter" and subsequent enlightenment. I can't really pass on any sort of logical rationale, except to suggest that anyone whose faith in new cars haswaivered somewhat really should book themselves in for a session with one of these salespeople.

Oh yes, they smell great too (the new cars, not the salespeople).

TWT: Hot Wii! (19)

2007-01-26T09:02:00.000+11:00

Greetings Chums! Happy New Year and all that. Well here it is.

Start

Special greeting from Bubba Love of the Zedcast

Tom winges about the weather

Tom explains the TWIM

Tom talks Wii

The usual endy bits, don't forget to email, tom at ten with tom dot com, call the Coldline on (US) 206 20 20 TOM, or from Australia, 0011 1 206 20 20 TOM (international rates probably apply).

The Me take us out (with a song, not like in the Mafia way). Oh yes, the song is called "I Love Lamp" and can be found at myspace.com/TheMeIsMe

Here is a visual representation of the TWIMS:

The TWIMS Scale
Zone	Temperature	Description
Orange	30°C (86°F) or more	“Like a bath”
Yellow	24-29°C (75-85°F)	Pleasant
Sprite Green	18-22°C (64-71°F)	“It's fine... once you're in”
Teal	17-18°C (62-64°F)	Lap swimmers only!
Blue	17°C (62°F) or less	Turn blue and go stiff

And here is my Wii number: 1886 6930 1253 3166

And the Direct Download

Adios Amigos!

TWT: Pre-pre-Christmas Special (17)

2006-12-22T13:47:00.000+11:00

Show notes... yeah, funny thing about that. They went something like this:

Opening

Middle bit

Ending

Correct spelling of Pavlova is: Pavlova

Direct download

I also mentioned Daryl from the Poddog Show, whose www can be found hither.

Nectar of the Bean

2006-10-22T18:40:00.000+10:00

Hey Friends,
Well, no podcasts forthcoming, but here I am to give you something at least partially blogworthy:
I bought a coffee plunger.
So I was busy making myself a delicious cup of the good stuff when I happened to glance upon our timepiece, only to discover that I was running quite late for work. In fact, in order to actually arrive at work on time I would need to either avail myself of some kind of time-machine, or at the very least, have a fair crack at the land-speed record. "Grim!" I said to myself aloud, and meant it. Clearly I would have to streamline my morning routine somewhat, as the coffee-making process had become something of a burden.
My day would begin at 5am, when I would meet Andre at our front door with a small bag of fresh beans. Next, I would bang those little suckers in the oven and go for my shower, shave and massage, and get dressed for work. By 6.30am I would be thoroughly clothed and at least partially shod and the beans would be nicely roasted. I would put them onto my window sill to cool. After this, I usually count the beans again to ensure that they are all still there before delicately placing them into my antique Kmart hand grinder. With the beans ground to espresso-perfect consistency I would then deposit them into the humidifier and set my espresso machine to warm. This process takes around twenty minutes and gives me plenty of time to put together a hearty breakfast of Special K and grapefruit. Once the beans are sufficiently moist and the machine, warm, it is simply a matter of drawing a double shot of that liquid gold before jamming it down my gullet and sprinting for the door, stopping only for my keys and hat.
As you can see, it's a tight schedule, but one, for the careful, that could do with a little tweaking.
Much to my disgust at my faithful fresh-bean purveyor, Andre (who, I have since discovered is actually my down-stairs neighbour Kevin wearing a sombrero), I found that coffee can be purchased from any two-bit super market, not only pre-roasted but pre-humidified and ground! Thus I was able to dispense with three hefty appliances and approximately two and a half hours per morning. Secondly, I was able to replace my trusty cappuccino machine (which I shall, of course, retain for special occasions, late nights and Fridays) with this handy little French-press, aka coffee plunger.
My morning cuppa is now quicker, hotter and just as delicious as it ever was, leaving me more time for the finer things in life - cultivating my tea shrub.

Silence

2006-10-10T08:52:00.000+10:00

Shh...I don't want to disturb the TWT feed. It's been so quiet lately. I just thought I'd pop in and say that I'm still here and everything's okay. I've been a tad busy. And a tad lazy. But I'm still here, keen to get another TWT out to you, my fine friends.
I can't promise any dates or anything. Maybe if I had one of those new voice recorders for my ipod I could send you something. Mah...I'll be there soon.
Oh yes...I'm building a puppet.

Tom.

Bloggier

2006-09-18T20:03:00.000+10:00

Okay, so what am I doing? This is quite clearly a Podcast website - and I have my own blog elsewhere - (todaytomwrote.blogspot.com) but here I am writing a blog-style entry on TWT. Is this a sign of greater things to come for this homey little .com, or like that photo of myself (left) am I just asking for trouble?

Well, to be honest, I don't know what I'm doing. I never know what I'm doing - that's part of my charm. But, gosh-darn it, I had the urge to do some good ol' fashioned bloggin' and somehow TWT seemed to be the place to do it!

I had a great time on Saturday morning. My phone buzzed it's familar text-message jingle. It was ex-housemate, good friend, fellow blogger Dan. "Brekkie and coffee and jeeves at our place 9 am", he texted. Sounds fun. I asked the Mrs and she urged me out (a little too hastily?) and before long I was knocking on a familiar door. And the rest, as they say, is breakfast.

Why do I relay this little tail? I'm not too sure - the old memory is getting a tad hazy these days. I ... oh, yes, blogging. Spending the morning with Dan and Jono made me want to blog. Y'see, Dan has always been my blogging inspiration. His blog goes back to the dawn of blogging itself. And Jono, well, his blog only has two entries, but it's really quality over quantity that he's going for. And, while the allure of the microphone is not without its charm, my digits were longing to caress the QWERTY once more and re-join the ranks of the blogosphere.

What say ye, faithful few? A multi-modal Ten with Tom? The idea has merit. What do you think?

Tom.

Wheelie bins - before

2006-08-20T10:54:00.000+10:00

Wheelie bins - before
Originally uploaded by Tom from TenwithTom.com.

This is what Wheelie bins should look like...

Wheelie bins - after

2006-08-20T10:52:00.000+10:00

Wheelie bins - after
Originally uploaded by Tom from TenwithTom.com.

Here lies the remains of our two Wheelie bins. May they rest in peace...

TWT: Banana Crisis (15)

2006-08-18T07:26:00.000+10:00

Shnotes a-comin'
Direct Link

Tom.

TWT: Sup Bro! (14)

2006-07-27T20:35:00.000+10:00

So anyways, I know that this isn't the most frequent podcast in existence, but this time it wasn't entirely my fault. Y'see, my usual host simply refused to accept this file for some reason, then... [insert typical boring technical excuse] ...without even so much as a snorkle.
Anyhoo, here's what went down (let no man say I didn't do decent Shnotes):

Cairns
Higher School Certificate
Deep Voices
Zee and Zed
Dave's injury
Poddog Show called TWT: "laid back"
Dad's new MacBook
Linguistic Cranky Pants
A bit about a tree that we should have edited out
Cairns again
Half my audience is Canadian
Tom's Frappr
Ten Points
Catfish Show comes up
Nico from Snowy Day Design signed the Frappr
Twin cities?
New term: "Shnotes"
Charles (Mostly News) and Redboy (Redboy Podcast) also signed the Frappr
New Ten Points, go here and look for "An Auspicious Moment"
Dave's MySpaces:

Personal: myspace.com/daveanlezark
Personal Music - The Me: myspace.com /themeisme
Band's space: myspace.com /marchforjane

Email: Tom@TenWithTom.com
Frappr: www.frappr.com/tenwithtomlisteners
Flickr: www.flickr.com/photos/snappytom
Bloggr: www.tenwithtom.com
MySpacr: wwwmyspace.com/easilyoffended
CommentLinr: 206 20 20 TOM (206 20 20 0866)
Direct Downloadr: hither
Subscribe using this feed: feeds.feedburner.com/tenwithtom

Three in the can

2006-07-14T15:04:00.000+10:00

Would you believe it? There are now three versions of TWT 14, and none of them will get to the the light of d.
I'm finishing off my week in sunny, sunny Queensland, which is partially why there has not been an episode for a while. I did record an episode about a week before I left, but just didn't like how it turned out. Then I recorded another - much better, but it wouldn't upload and I was out of time to play my computer's little games. Finally, I managed to "lay down" an episode in Sydney on my way up here, co-hosted by my bro Dave, but again, didn't manage to upload it before I had to catch my bus to the airport.
Who knows? Maybe all three shows will find their way onto the TWT special features DVD.
We can but hope.
T.

TWT: Technically Speaking (13)

2006-06-21T07:40:00.000+10:00

Episode - Feed - Direct Download

I'm back, and this time it's personal! Well, I guess no more so than usual, what with me being a solo cast and all.
The devices I reviewed are:

The Griffin iTalkPro
The XtremeMac Micromemo
The Belkin TuneTalk Stereo

I also mentioned the iLounge review of the iTalkPro (which links to the sample recording):

Click hither

And, of course here are those raunchy photos:

The iTalkPro from Griffin

The XtremeMac Micromemo

The TWT favourite, the Belkin TuneTalk Stereo

TWT: Frappr Action Required (12)

2006-05-24T07:47:00.000+10:00

Well, howdy doody. It's me. Me! Who do you think? Yeah. Well another rolicking soiree. I'll add more links anon, but here's the one that really counts:
Tom's Frappr (pronounced "Frapper" - it's one of those post-modern things)

See you around,

love Tom.

TWT: Atmosphere (11)

2006-05-08T21:02:00.000+10:00

Well, due to overwhealming response (see TWT 10), I've decided to put more info in my show notes. SO here it is. The more detail.

K, so here's what went down:

Intro
Geebung Polo Club by A.B. 'Banjo' Patterson - Google it.
The Hank and Jessica Sketch
The end (including corny joke)

Ok, so this wasn't a fully featured show, it's what the Blue Dog Banter boys would call a Micro-Episode. (Not that I'm trying to be like BDB - although I haven't podcasted in a while...). SO no Cranky Pants, No Ten Points, just me and too many sound effects.

For those of you who are interested in the real Tom, not just the poly-carbonate Mandroid that creates TWT, I've started my very own blog. Or, I've continued my old blog into a new format. Meh, I'm getting sick of explaining it to everyone. Just go on over to TodayTomWrote.blogspot.com and you'll hear all about it.

I'll get you next time Gadget, Next time!

The Episode (In Colour).

TWT: I Think Therefore iMac (10)

2006-03-25T19:02:00.000+11:00

Gad - I'm just getting lazier and lazier! Does anyone read these things anyway? Let me know. My email is:Tom@TenWithTom.com.

Direct link for show is thus. And the feed is thus.

Enjoy!

TWT: The Soup Special (9)

2006-03-03T17:40:00.000+11:00

This is a highly experimental edition. In other words, it probably won't work. In the off-chance that it does, I hope you enjoy:
Ten with Tom's Soup Special.

You can contact me in plenty of exciting ways:

Email - tom@tenwithtom.com

Leave a comment here

Shout (vary volume according to distance from Newcastle)

Here's a clue for Ten Points.

Download the episode direct

Subscribe to this feed using your favourite aggrigator

Catch you next time.

TWT: Singing Off Key (8)

2006-02-13T21:54:00.000+11:00

Okay, so I finally, under the cloak of darkness, sneak over to the University to make use of the wireless network, and do a bit of loading (both down- and up-). The show notes are coming, as is a much neater way to display these pictures. If anyone wants to do a bit of HTMLin' for me... Anyhoo. I've got to go, Uni Security are coming. Here ae the pics:

Gad, anymore sloppy work like that and I might as well move to MySpace!

I'll clean it up tomorrow. Bye Kids.

TWT: Missing Bits (7)

2006-01-10T11:59:00.000+11:00

Call off the search party! It's okay - I'm fine. Marriage finds me very well, and at last I have been able to sit down with my orange computer and slap together a show. It's a bit longer than ten minutes, but hey, aren't they all? Yes. Send your g'days, comments, greetings and Ten Points entires to Tom@TenWithTom.com, or call the TenLine on (US) 206 20 20 Tom.

Here's what went down:

Comment from Tom's wedding by Tom, Phil and Dave.

Welcome from Tom

Banana joke from Charles

More banana jokes from DJ Max and Nico

Message from Michelle

Cranky Pants

A dumb comment

Lobsters and limericks

G'days from Aaron, Shelly, Dianne S, Bruce the Zedcaster, Cat, Daryl and John from Northern Ireland.

Download the episode direct or subscribe to the feed!
Thanks all, catch you next week,

Tom.

Merry Christmas to all!

2005-12-31T12:45:00.000+11:00

What's this? Nearly three weeks since my last podcast? Gad, I've been as slack as a tug-of-war rope in a geriatric ward. The very astute of you will have realised that I've used that joke before. Long before Ten with Tom, I ran a little blog by the name of Sandgate Road. SGR has been described as many things, the least offensive of which is: A useful social commentary. It is essentially TWT with bad spelling. I don't really have enough TWT episode to do holday re-runs, but if you're desperate for some internet entertainment and Limewire is down, pop over to SGR and peruse the humourous entires. Here's a couple of particularly good ones to get you started:

SGR's A Moment in History

Dr Phil's New Book

New Look for SGR

SGR Goes to the Movies

Well, the wedding was beautiful. Absolutely fine weather, and the day ran smoothly. Fantastic holiday in Fiji, followed by the fun of setting up a house together. But, I'm sure that can wait for the next show.
Anyhue (preferably magenta - another joke rerun) I must be off. Thanks for stopping by.

From my family to yours, Merry Christmas to you all and a happy New Year!

Tom.

TWT: Something Borrowed (6)

2005-11-29T17:25:00.000+11:00

Hey Kids, this is it! The last TWT before I'm a married man. Good riddance to singledom, I say. Well, I guess you'll be wanting to know what happens in the show. You're an inquisitive lot, that's for sure. Okay, so here's the scoop:

- Intro music: "March from Scipio" by an artist called George Handel. I'm assuming its podsafe.
- Weather for this weekend thanks to weatherzone.com.au.
- Wedding superstitions thanks to oldsuperstitions.com.
- Conspiracy theorists
- G'days from Shelly, Daryl and my mum.
- Ten Points: How much is a lobster?
- Ten Points: Banana Joke continues. E-mail Tom@TenWithTom.com for Ten Points entries.
- No TWT for a couple of weeks
- Send best wishes for the wedding to Tom@TenWithTom.com, or leave a message on my comment line (US) 206 20 20 TOM.
- Send your g'days there too
- See you guys soon...

Download the episode directly

TWT: The Hump Show (5)

2005-11-21T13:42:00.000+11:00

Here it is folks, show 5! We're officially a podcast. To boot, we're also listen in Podcast Alley. Go do a search for Ten with Tom and vote. And if you are Steve Jobs, how about putting me into the iTunes directory?

Here's what happened:
- Tom makes a quick call to Redboy
- Intro by Charles from Mostly News
- Welcome to the Hump Show
- Wedding countdown
- Send me an iPod and I'll record the wedding
- Ten Points from last week - Congrats to Charles, DJ Max and Cat.
- Cranky Pants (thanks to The Global Language Monitor
- New Ten Points: Send your banana joke to tom@tenwithtom.com or send your leave a message on (US) 206 20 20 TOM.
- G'days from Charles, DJ Max, Cat, Daryl and Kuma.
- Send your g'days to tom@tenwithtom.com, leave a message on (US) 206 20 20 TOM, leave a comment here on my blog or leave a pin in my guestmap.
- Song: "The Adventures of Charlie" by The Me (www.myspace.com/themeisme).

Download the episode here

TWT: Dirty Laundry (4)

2005-11-14T10:02:00.000+11:00

Live from the Newcastle Portable Media Expo in my kitchen. Sorry it's been a while folks, I've been up to my back teeth in stuff. But there's less stuff now. If you enjoyed the show, then you're sure to want to say g'day - tom@tenwithtom.com.

Today's show included (in alphabetical order):
-Greetings from Daryl and Kuma.
-The Newcastle Portable Media Expo
-I get excited about show 4
-Ten points from last week
-I'm a happy little Vegemite.
-New Ten Points
-G'days from Daryl and Kuma, Charles from Mostly News, Just Pete, Shelly from Shelly's Podcast and Danni from Borderline.
-I talk about tenwithtom.com
-Clever clock joke
-Daylight robbery

Wow! Action packed, as you can plainly see!

Download Now!

TWT: Road Worrier (3)

2005-11-02T22:44:00.000+11:00

Hey hey hey my. Well we're officially up to show three. And when I say 'show', I mean 'show'. Well, not exactly. A very raw TWT Tom today. It's me in my car, just chatting and telling you about the scenery. I talk about The Poddog Show, The Zedcast, The Catfish Show (which I later had a great time singing along to - the way you can only do alone in your car)(I didn't record that bit). A bunch of Canadian casts! The Queen would be proud.
Here is a piccy of the lovely Hawkesbury River.

TWT: Casting doubts aside (2)

2005-11-01T00:54:00.000+11:00

Hey, wow! I've had great feedback.Thanks people for tuning in.
I'm not 100% happy with this one - not me at my very best. I didn't think it was as funny as last time, but listen anyway. Again, PLEASE, tell me what you think.
The show went something like this:

-I gargle boiling acid while whistling the New Zealand National anthem
-I talk about how I'm nearly a real podcast
-I tapdance and play clarinet hanging from the ceiling
-I talk about my website - tenwithtom.com
-I eat an entire piano
-I complain about me feed
-My stomach sings the Aria from an Operetta I wrote
-Swear word of the week
-I recite the entire Latin New Testament in Pig Latin
-Talking pictures - Hagar
-I pull my own teeth on air
-Cranky pants
-I pull someone else's teeth on air
-Ten Points - results from last time
-I explain the infamous "Hardy Boys Joke"
-Thanks to Redboy, Aaron, Bruce from Zedcast, Cat and Bob from the Catfish Show, Just Plain Rick, Daryl and Kuma from Poddog.
-New Ten Points

Download Episode
Email me! Tom@TenWithTom.com

Episoode two coming

2005-10-30T23:37:00.000+11:00

Have you ever had one of those days?
Argh. Ten with Tom Two IS coming. I am not a one hit wonder to go silently into the night, but, let's just say TECHNICAL ISSUES got in the way. Expect a new show in a couple of days. Sorry Folks, thanks for all the feedback.

Tom.

TWT: The Pilot Episode

2005-10-23T21:12:00.000+10:00

This episode has to be the very epitome of monologue. I introduce my crazy segments, complain a little and show you some wild Kung-Fu moves I picked up while working for Hong Kong Intelligence. Okay, that's not quite true - the segments aren't all that crazy. Please listen and tell me what you think! Email me now!

I mention The Redboy Podcast, The Big Show and make subliminal refernce to This and That w/ Jeff and Pat.

tom at tenwithtom dot com

Thanks guys, love Tom.

Download Episode One
Email me

My second entry...

2005-10-06T17:54:00.000+10:00

Er...ah nuts, I forgot what I was going to say.
This will be the home of the podcast, Ten with Tom. There are 1400 minutes in every day, why not spend ten with Tom? It will have everything - laughs, tears, provocative commenary, the latest news, something for eveyrone!

Welcome to Ten with Tom

2005-10-06T12:45:00.000+10:00

This is the first entry. A pilot entry, if you will.